We are sharing a very devastating trial with our family and friends. But, by sharing, we feel the love from you coming back to us like the tides in the ocean; ever so beautiful and comforting and returning over and over. You show us again and again that you are always there calming our souls and helping the Lord to answer our prayers. Whatever will be will be....we will trust in Him. Thank you, and may you be blessed for your kindnesses to us.
Marilyn and Dennis
So here we go again! Happy Birthday yesterday to our dear Michelle, and today to our sweet mom, Effie Wilson. June is quite a month of remembrance for our family!
It was a beautiful, but hot, day today and I was able to attend Church at our ward, but when Dennis got up he was feeling pretty tired, so he stayed home from our ward, but went later to a ward to speak as the High Council speaker. He said he felt good about how it went and I'm sure it was terrific!
Later in the afternoon we drove down to Orem to celebrate Mom's birthday and to be able to visit with our sister Diane and several of the grand and great-grandkids. It was such a nice afternoon and as usual Diane served up a fabulous meal with the help of most of the grandkids.
Nat and Luke and baby Whit, Connie and Nicole, Andrea and Grove and kids, Jeremy and Wendy and girls, Eric and Cassy, Diane, Mom, and Dennis and I were all there. It was so good to be able to visit with Diane as she has come out to see her new grandbaby, Whitney Kate, and in turn be here for mom's b/d and do a few things with both of her daughters. She returns to Texas this week.
I've been so impressed with something concerning my dear Dennis, that I feel I need to journal it so that I will always remember it. Sometimes during the years, I have wondered if Dennis ever worried about anything and he would say, " You worry enough for both of us". It kinda bugged me to think I was a worrier and he wasn't, but the events of this past week have made me realize what a wonderful gift he has been given to NOT worry.
At the present time he is undergoing tests to see if he carries the gene for breast cancer that would affect our daughters and granddaughters. In the questionnaire it asks: "Since you have been diagnosed with cancer have you had any fearful thoughts, nightmares, worries, etc." Then he is supposed to answer: "always, sometimes, often, rarely, or never." Anyway, they ask a lot of questions like the above and I was reading his answers and I was shocked to see that on every question that was asked he would always write "Never". I told him that no one would believe that he had not had concerns or worries since the diagnosis and he said to me, "If you don't know after 46 years of being married to me that I do not worry about anything I cannot control. If there is something to be concerned about, that is under my control, I fix it and go on". I sat there and thought, "Wow, he is right." In all these years when I've worried my head over things that sometimes didn't even happen, he was there just being calm and happy and acting as if he didn't care....well, it wasn't that he didn't care, he has just learned how to deal with stress and life and all of the stuff that comes with it. I immediately felt so much respect and extra love for this man whom I thought just "didn't care", when I realized what a wonderful gift he has been given and he has developed....he is only concerned when he CAN do something about a problem and he fixes it and moves on. Man, I wish that I could do that! We all have been given different gifts, but it's taken me this long, until he is facing a life threatening disease that I realize how strong and smart and good he really is. I've always known he was extra-wonderful, but I guess the whole picture just dumped in my mind this week and I am so impressed with his ability to handle stress and problems. But he's always been like that....I just wasn't appreciating that gift as much as I do now.
Many of you won't understand all that last stuff I wrote, but if you know Dennis very well, you will realize that he really has a wonderful gift from our Heavenly Father and he realizes it and uses it to his benefit. He is NOT afraid to die, in fact he says it will be neat to see his father again (he died in World War II when Dennis was just 5 years old), and especially anxious to see our son Steve who passed aways 4 1/2 years ago, and of course his brother, Stephen, who passed away a month after our son passed away and his step-father, Bud. Plus the many other people we love who have gone on before us. So he is not afraid of death, just would feel badly to leave me here without him to take care of me as he has for so many, many years. He also has his life in order. Every day for years he has been studying the scriptures and for the past 10 years he has been listening to all the standard works while he is driving the van back and forth taking the lawyers where they need to go. While he is alone in the Van he is constantly listening to religious tapes and this year alone he has "read" the Book of Mormon over 8 times. So, I guess we can all see that peace comes to people when their lives are where the Lord would want them to be and Dennis is there....he is at peace with himself and the Lord.
However, I am NOT ready to let him go....so please keep praying that he will have many more years here on this earth (for my sake). And, thanks for letting me put my feelings down on
"paper", so I can remember the thoughts that I had during this difficult time.
The sprinkling system is nearly complete!! Thank you so much, everyone involved! I can hardly wait to turn it on and see the water come gushing out (without us having to drag a hose all over the place.....YAY!!!)
Tomorrow Dennis is going to work and then we are going up to Logan to pick up our car at Deanne's place. Teri and Ed borrowed it to get all 8 kids up to their house this week and it sounds like they have all had a riot being together. Deanne was returning from her trip tonight and driving up to Teri and Ed's to pick up her kids and have a friend with her to drive our car back down to her place....did you follow that??? Amazing. And, we will drive to Deanne's to pick up our car ...... and that's the end of this story for tonight. Sorry if this was a boring entry....it was important to me.
Thanks again, and God bless you all!
Blogger Mama
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